The Onion
April 6, 2011
WASHINGTON—Saying they are very close to casting all the principal parts for the nationwide stage production of Guys And Dolls, White House officials announced Monday that a second round of auditions will be held this Thursday, and that the show’s director, President Barack Obama, is still looking for the perfect person to fill the lead role of Nathan Detroit.
An early cast list posted on the front door of the Capitol Building Sunday revealed that while Obama left the space next to Detroit’s name blank, the part of Sister Sarah Brown has gone to 40-year-old claims adjuster Erin Daniels of Birmingham, AL, and that Benny Southstreet will be played by Canton, OH retiree Paul Burnsworth.
The role of Nicely Nicely Johnson will be portrayed by Chief Justice John Roberts, who reportedly turned out to be “quite the little tap dancer” and wowed Obama with his rendition of “Sit Down, You’re Rockin’ The Boat.”
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