Keith Johnson
Revolt of the Plebs
April 14, 2010

G-197?

No, this isn’t a game of “Battleship”, it’s your place in line to get that broken finger looked at by a healthcare professional.  That’s right, I said “healthcare professional”.  That nurse who used to greet you and take your blood pressure before turning you over to a physician has now become your doctor.  And that general practitioner who used to treat you for minor illness has now become your brain surgeon.  Welcome to life under Obamacare!

According to a recent Associated Press article:

A nurse may soon be your doctor.  With a looming shortage of primary care doctors, 28 states are considering expanding the authority of nurse practitioners.  These nurses with advanced degrees want the right to practice without a doctor’s watchful eye and to prescribe narcotics.  And if they hold a doctorate, they want to be called “Doctor.”

The article goes on to say:

Massachusetts, the model for the federal health care overhaul, passed its law in 2006 expanding health insurance to nearly all residents and creating long waits for primary care.  In 2008, the state passed a law requiring health plans to recognize and reimburse nurse practitioners as primary care providers.

You heard it, folks, right out of the mouths of the mainstream media.  Long waits and rationed care by an overworked and unqualified staff.  Do you like taking off a day from work to get your car registered with the DMV?  You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.  As if going to the doctor wasn’t an uncomfortable experience to begin with.  Wait till you see what’s coming.  New hospitals will become arena sized to accommodate the few legitimate patients rubbing shoulders with hypochondriacs and illegal aliens with tummy aches. Comfortable chairs and soothing music will make way for wooden benches and drab, gray walls.  Operating theatres will become smaller and cramped. Oh—and are you planning an extended hospital stay? Don’t expect your own private room with a television set.  Instead, you’ll be lucky to have a partition between you and the other dozen or so beds lined up on either side of you.  In pain? Forget the morphine drip—a couple of aspirins should do the job.

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But don’t worry, not everyone has been made to suffer.  Some are outright giddy about our President’s new austerity plan.  Two weeks ago I reported how the big K Street lobbying firms disproportionately spent more money pushing Obamacare, lining the pockets of Democrats and funding pro-healthcare reform ad campaigns than on any single issue in history. One of those firms, Raben Group, has even gloated about it in recent days.  On their website is a letter to their clients, which reads:

Some Say Waterloo; We Say Success: The Raben Group’s Clients and Health Care and Education Reform

As the Obama Administration prepares to implement the most comprehensive health care reform measures since the creation of Medicare, many others also have cause to celebrate this singular achievement. We’re excited to share with you some terrific success stories from our valued family of clients.

And how are those health insurance and bio-technology stocks holding up just two weeks into Obamacare?  Let’s look at the giants:  Yesterday, an article entitled Ahead of the Bell: UnitedHealth Upgraded, quotes trusted financial analyst Jason Gurda as saying that America’s largest publicly traded health insurer, UnitedHealth has had “better than expected enrollment growth” and that he has boosted his rating on the stock to “Outperform” from “Market perform”.

The article goes on to say:

Health insurance stocks experienced periods of volatility through most of 2009, as the economy bottomed out at the start of the year and then the debate over health insurance reform raised investor concern.  But the stocks have largely stabilized this year, as health reform passed through Congress and was signed into law, eliminating uncertainty for investors.

And how about that bio-tech giant, Amgen?  On Monday, the stock closed trading at $60.37 compared to the 52 week range of $44.96-$64.76.  Not too shabby.

After signing the dreaded health care reform legislation into law, a very arrogant and obnoxious Obama mocked Republicans for acting as if the bill would lead to “Armageddon.”  He stated “After I signed the bill, I looked around to see if there were any asteroids falling, some cracks opening up in the earth.  It turned out to be a nice day.  Birds were chirping, folks were strolling down the mall.”

Why of course, Mr. President, cancer rarely spreads through the body with devastating speed, but your cancer certainly has picked up quite a bit of momentum in recent days and its likely we shall see the physical manifestations of this deadly disease in short order.

Bend over, America!  The doctor—uh—I mean, nurse will see you now!

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